Текст: Quincy Punx. Jerry Lewis.

I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon
And raise big bucks for MDA
Cuz Jerry raises millions every year
And we'll equally divide the pay
I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon
With great big famous Vegas superstars
And that jerk with three trained oranguatans
We'll play real fast and smash our guitars

[Chorus:]
Slam dancing with Jerry's kids
And having lots of fun
Singing swearwords on the air
Yeah, Jerry's number one
He'd say we're number one till he heard us play
Then he'd kick us off the show
But it's too late, we're here to stay
And we aren't gonna go

I wanna do the natural act with Charo
Tango with old men in pink golf pants
I wanna play killer thrashing punk
So even Jerry will slamdance
I wanna play the Jerry Lewis telethon
And booze backstage with Ed McMahon
Your pledges will buy us lots of beer
So call right now and pledge a hundred grand

[Repeat Chorus]