Текст: Soundtrack Artists. Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Joel

In the not too distant future,
Next Sunday A.D.
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different from you or me.

He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in red jump suit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him & they shot him into space!


We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find...(la! la! la!)
He'll have to sit & watch them all,
Then we'll monitor his mind...(la! la! la!)

Now keep in mind Joel can't control,
When the movies begin & end...(la! la! la!)
Because he used those special parts,
To make his robot friends --

ROBOT ROLL CALL (Let's Go!)

Cambot (Pan Left!)
Gypsy (Hi Girls!)
Tom Servo (Hi Tall Guy!)
Crooooooow (I'm The Wisecracker!)

If you're wondering how he eats & breathes,
And other science facts...(la! la! la!)
Then repeat to yourself its just a show,
I should really just relax...For Mystery Science Theater
3000....... Mike

In the not too distant future
Way down in Deep Thirteen
Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank
Were hatching an evil scheme

They hired a temp by the name of Mike
Just a regular Joe they didn't like
Their experiment needed a good test case
So they conked him on the noggin and they shot him into space
(Mike: "Get me DOWWWN!")

We'll send him cheesy movies
The worst we can find (LA LA LA)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor his mind

Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (LA LA LA)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends

ROBOT ROLL CALL
Cambot! ("Show yourself!")
Gypsy! ("I'm not ready!")
Tom Servo! ("Hello there!")
Croooow! ("That's one 'o'!")

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (LA LA LA)
Just repeat to yourself it's just a show
I should really just relax for Mystery...Science...Theater...3000!
(twang!)

Mike II
In the not too distant future

Way down in Deep 13
The evil Dr. Forrester
Was hatching a nasty scheme
He hired a temp by the name of Mike
Just a regular Joe he didn't like
His experiment needed a good test case
So he conked him on the noggin'
And he shot him into space
(Mike: GET ME DOWN!!!)

I'll send him cheesy movies
The worst i can find (La La La!)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And i'll monitor his mind (La La La!)
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
Where the movies begin or end (La La La!)
He'll try to keep his sanity
With the help of his robot friends

ROBOT ROLL CALL....

Cambot (Show yourself)
Gypsy (I'm not ready)
Tom Servo (Hi ho there)
Croooooooow (That's one 'O'!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
And other science facts (La La La!)
Just repeat to yourself it's just a show
I should really just relax,
(Dr. F: Did i tell you my mother's here?)
For Mystery Science Theater 3000! <
Twaaaannnngggg!!! > New Season
In the not-too-distant future,
somewhere in time and space,
Mike Nelson and his robot pals
are caught in an endless chase,

Pursued by a woman whose name is Pearl,
an evil gal who wants to rule the world.
She threw a few things in her purse,
and in her rocketship she hunts him all across the universe.
(Pearl) I'll get you!!!

(Pearl) I'll send him cheesy movies,
the worst I can find, la, la, la.
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
and I'll monitor his mind, la, la, la.
Now keep in mind Mike can't control
where the movies begin or end, la, la, la.
He'll try to keep his sanity,
with the help of his robot friends.

ROBOT ROLL CALL

Cambot! (You're on!)
Gypsy! (Oh, my stars!)
Tom Servo! (Check me out!)
Croooow! (I'm different!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
and other science facts, la, la, la.
Just repeat to yourself it's just a show,
I should really just relax,
for Mystery Science Theater 3000.
(twang)