Текст: Lawrence Arms (The). Ghost Stories. Heaven Help Me.

My friend Jimmy works on the Union Pacific line.
Passed me a line about 9 AM and since then I been feeling fine.
Passed a fifth of Old Kentucky in his garage all day
using tattoos like old photo albums, we reminisced the olden days.
Jimmy put a cigarette where his front teeth used to be
got in his truck and pulled six beers from underneath his seat.
He said "I gotta go to work or the wife's gonna holler at me"
so I hopped in grabbed a beer and drank my way to the beer hall down the street.

[Chorus:]
Hey friend, when you gonna take me home?
'Cause I'm too drunk for driving but I think it's time to go.
Scotch and cocaine, whiskey, beer and gin.
Heaven help me if I see the letters DUI again.

When Jimmy dropped me off it was 3 in the PM.
That Mississippi sun made the barroom look mighty dim.
Me and three old timers all hunkered at the bar.
Bought four shots of whiskey with money that I squandered from a penny jar.
Whiskey kept a flowing as the sun went down
coating my insides 8 ounces syrupy, sweet and brown.
Checking the door for the law or my wife.
They know where to find me. I guess they ain't looking for me tonight.

[Chorus]

So now it's 3 AM and the cocaine's all but gone.
If I can buy a bottle from the bar then I can make it through till dawn.
Double vision, double trouble if I get behind the wheel
'Cause my guts are rotten from too many prison meals.

[Chorus]